I know nothing about anything

I need to rent a tweenager or something to jazz up my Myspace page. I know precisely DICK about Myspace, and I only have a presence there because I … well, I don’t know why, exactly, except that everyone else in the galaxy seems to have a Myspace page.

I have this instead, and I don’t really know much about this stuff, either. I think it’s because I came of age on the cusp of teh internets so my understanding of it is much like my parents’ understanding of how to program the VCR. Theoretically, it shouldn’t be difficult, but in practice I’m all “Whuh?”

I hate to sound all crochety but back when my peeps and I were in school, nobody had cell phones or even pagers. Not even the drug dealers! We didn’t have texting and IM and all the other things that keep people in touch. Hell, I didn’t even have a PHONE, which was both my advantage and my disadvantage. We had to write actual notes on actual paper with actual pens in order to communicate with each other during the day. I fear that’s going to become a lost art.

My friend Mikie and I were so studly at writing notes to one another that we adapted the rune alphabet to our purposes. We had a series of teachers who just loved to intercept notes and read them aloud to the class, so the runic alphabet was a godsend for us. Teachers would get our notes, open them up, go “Whuh?” and just trash them. Saved us a huge amount of embarrassment, I tell you that!

I rather miss those days, and I am anxious to see what Jillian’s teen years are going to be like. Kids are getting cell phones and Myspace pages earlier and earlier and it all just seems like too much to me. If I have my way, Jillian won’t go anywhere NEAR teh internets until she’s a voting adult but I know that’s kind of extreme. And probably impossible.

I find it difficult to wrap my head around the fact that Jillian will grow up without ever knowing life without the Internet. Or cell phones. The mind, it boggles. Of course, I can’t imagine life without teh internets, but that’s because I’m hopelessly addicted. You can take away my TV, but if you take away my cable modem, I would really be fucked.

I’d probably get a lot more knitting done, though.