Urgh. It’s probably due to the grey weather, but I am just not feeling it today. Got lots of things on the list of Things To Do, but I think I’m in that space where there are SO MANY, I don’t know where to start. So I’m going to have to spend some time breaking things down into manageable pieces but even THAT feels like a big job.

We’re going to put the house up for sale, I think. That means there is a shitload of stuff that needs to get done, starting with finding a storage locker in which we can put all of our extra CRAP so that prospective buyers won’t get freaked out by all our clutter. And boy, do we have clutter. Most of it is in the form of yarn and books (whoops), but that stuff is more easily managed if we divest ourselves of all the other junk we happen to own.

This is going to be hard for me, because I am a PackRat and sentimental taboot. I hate throwing things away, especially personal junk like birthday cards and love notes and stuff. I have a birthday card my friend Greg gave me on my 13th birthday. I have the card from the flowers that Henning sent me when I was in the hospital that time. I think I have every note and letter that Cliff ever wrote to me, PLUS my corsage from our first Homecoming.


I had occasion to dig through a box that houses some of my various music books and stuff. I have the audition piece used my freshman year of high school to determine where to place me. I don’t think I have the skills anymore to play it but I might go crazy and give it a shot. Problem is, I don’t know if any of our three saxophones are in playable shape. Not to mention my embouchure is probably non-existent by now. I feel bad that I’ve let it slide but a) I have nowhere to set my shit up and play; and b) I have no one to play with and I’m a shitty soloist.

Maybe I should find a band.

But anyway, we have a lot of junk. Some things are in boxes and HAVE BEEN IN BOXES since we moved FROM INDIANAPOLIS eight years ago. I don’t even KNOW what’s in these boxes anymore. It would be nice to unpack them and see, but I’m not about to do that if I’m just going to end up packing them back up in the event of a move. So those boxes will probably stay as-is for now.

The problem area is Jillian’s closet. It’s a walk-in, and it’s humungous. I think it’s something like 5×7, which is pretty much the size of our bathroom. There’s room for a lot of crap in a space that big, and it’s probably time to have some tough conversations with myself and let some of it go. Some of it is clothing that currently does not fit, so I should probably get rid of most of that.


How can I pitch perfectly good clothes, some of which I am emotionally attached to? They don’t fit NOW, but dudes – I had a baby. Things are different. But not permanent. Wouldn’t it be better to use the clothes that Used To Fit as an incentive to move my fat ass around and make it less fat? I think I’ve plateaued in that I’m not buying anything BIGGER than what I’m currently wearing (and thank god, because the size I’m wearing is embarrassing enough). But the stuff I’m currently wearing isn’t exactly feeling loose and baggy, if you see what I mean. So shouldn’t I keep some of that stuff for when it fits again?

The clutter-busting folks would say no, but those kinds of people tend to be heartless, cold automatons who are capable of throwing away photos of their own kids. Thank God we now live in the digital age or we would have to get a storage locker just for pictures of Jillian. And then we wouldn’t even be thinking about a bigger house because we would have spent all our money getting pictures developed. So Hooray for Technology!

The prospect of throwing things away fills me with alarm, but I know that it’s something I need to do. Is there a support group?

1 Comment

Filed under House, Me Me Me, Stuff

One Response to Uninspired

  1. i feel your pain…

    although right now i love and hate all my stuff. i find it impossible t get rid of stuff. i cant even clean out th fridge without saving all the bottles and shit.