You live in New Jersey. Learn how to drive.

Let it be known that if you are on Route 1, driving FORTY GODDAMN MILES AN HOUR and I am behind you and my child has just pooped a big stinky, I will tailgate your slow ass.

Should you then try stomping on your brakes in a [futile] effort to get me to back off, I have no problem whatsoever with turning on my bright lights and laying on the horn. I don’t just accept my obnoxiousness – I celebrate it. Especially when I am in a bad mood, as I was this morning.

So let this be a lesson to you all: go the speed limit, AT LEAST. If you can’t for some reason, try using the hazard lights so assholes like myself don’t get behind you and make your day miserable. Cheered me right up, though!

1 Comment

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One Response to You live in New Jersey. Learn how to drive.

  1. Sara

    Gee – you must be real cool – driving like that WITH your child in the car. Doesn’t make for a funny anecdote, either.