I’ve always thought of myself as a bit of a slob. Indeed, my approach to housekeeping can be described as “somewhat lax.” This annoys Freddie sometimes, but he has to remember that he was raised in a more or less sterile environment (very clean and utterly devoid of personality), and I was raised by hippies. You do the math.

However. There is always a ‘however,’ isn’t there?

Slob I may be, but I am quite capable of keeping the house from becoming filthy.

The previous owners of our new house were apparently incapable of doing this. The more I clean the place, the more grossed out I am at just how disgusting the house is. For instance, I cleaned the oven on Saturday. When I opened it up to wipe out the insides, I noticed that the hinges of the doors were full of that greasy dust you tend to see on an oven that hasn’t been cleaned in DECADES. And, had this oven been decades old, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash.

This oven? Is not quite four years old. Color me grossed out. The window on the top oven (it’s a double) is so grimy, it is impossible to see in when baking. How the hell does this happen? I cooked like a slob in our previous house for three years and only cleaned the oven ONCE and it wasn’t even a tenth as gross as this one is. I am just baffled as to how it got this way. Were they baking caramels or something?

I’m tempted to just replace the oven, but that just isn’t in the budget at the present time.

Same deal with the fridge. The inside was a mess, which is to be expected, but the outside was all nasty, too. The fronts of the cabinets need to be cleaned in a very big way, which I will probably do in the next few weeks. It’s just gross.

And don’t get me started on the outside. The backyard is destroyed, since they had two dogs penned in there. There is a worn track going from one side of the house to the other and if we can ever get grass to grow there, I’ll be shocked.

The front was apparently “professionally landscaped” at some point (this was noted in the real estate listing, too), but it was never ever maintained. I spent a good part of yesterday with my clippers hacking down a beautiful but out-of-control butterfly bush, cursing all the while. I was merciless, and I think I’m going to make Freddie buy me a saw so I can chop down some of the bigger branches and try to shape it a little more. If it dies, it dies. I’ll put something else in there.

Today’s project is the rest of the front landscaping. It is seriously out of control and I think I’m just going to hack it all down and see what survives.

I know it’s rare to buy a house and have everything be exactly how you want it, but this is just… let’s just say the way this house was kept makes my housekeeping (or lack thereof) look like Martha Stewart-level housekeeping. I literally throw up my hands and curse the previous owners a couple times a day.

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  1. When we moved out of our rented house we hired Merry Maids. Our house wasn’t filthy, but we wanted it to look nice, and get the depoist back. I can’t imagine trying to sell a house and not cleaning it first. ick.