My child

I sometimes find my child in downward-dog position when I go to wake her up from her nap.

My child is perfectly capable of drinking from a sippy cup. However, she chooses to spit mouthfuls of water out onto the front of her shirt. Consequently, I have a tiny dripping munchkin running around my living room, laughing maniacally.

All the parenting books and stuff tell you that your toddler does these odd things for attention, be it positive or negative. So, even though it’s funny as hell, you shouldn’t laugh nor should you yell because it will only make the behavior stick.

I have pulled at least six muscles in trying not to laugh at this kid. I am in serious need of a video camera so I can show the world how nuts this child is.

At least she has good taste – I taped a Queen concert from 1981 (off the Rave channel, which I love so much, I want to put Hershey’s syrup on it and have it for breakfast), and she is totally rocking out. She’s got the head-bob going, the Frankenstein-esque toddler knee-bend thing, the works. It’s funny.

And she is dripping. From her neck to her knees, she is absolutely soaked. I am going to take the “ignore the behavior” thing a step further and let her run around like this for awhile. I want to pretend, for a little while at least, that I am smarter than she is.