Happy 2009. Maybe.

Dear Universe,


Please refrain from breaking shit in my house. In October it was the oven. Then last week the freezer decided to act shitty, so we scheduled an appointment with the repair guy. He’s coming tomorrow, so of course the freezer is acting just fine. Then today the washer decided it didn’t want to agitate after filling up with soapy water. That’s uncool. With a little bit of voodoo and some luck, it appears to be functional once again but I do NOT need that kind of heart attack. Oh, also? When I was at the bank and the drive-through ATM wasn’t letting me make a withdrawal and I had to go in the bank to find out that it wasn’t me it was their shitty ATM? NOT COOL.


F’real. My garbage disposal leaks (thanks to the bumbling jackasses who installed it after they ASSURED me they knew what they were doing and THEY DID NOT), and that’s enough. Oh, the broken drawer on the bathroom vanity? Totally fine, FOR NOW. I’ll fix that after I fix the shorted-out light in there and the bathtub spigot that spins all the way around and the shower thingy that comes right out. Oh, then I’ll bleach the grout between the floor tiles and seal it because the yahoos who owned this house before us neglected to do it. Among other things they neglected to do: fill nail-holes and paint all the trim and baseboard in the house. The insides of all the interior doors need to be painted. The front and back outside doors are in laughably bad condition and will ALSO need to be replaced in the next five years (or sooner if I can help it).


Eventually, the house will need to be re-sided. That’s fine. Expected, even. But all this crap that is attempting to explode simultaneously NEEDS TO STOP or I’m going to have some kind of breakdown.


Happy New Year, Y’all!