Day one

My half-marathon training started today. It went about as well as could be expected, given my extreme laziness and aversion to physical exertion of any kind.

Some people are “yay! Running is the best! WOOOO!!” Those people are clearly insane. I am more of a “just do it” sort of person, which I’m sure Nike appreciates because it’s further proof that their marketing works.

But I run in Sauconys.

Still, I did it. 3 minutes of running, 2 minutes of walking times 7. It got a bit icky in the middle there but I KEPT AT IT. I think I need to drink more water before I run because the legs felt a bit heavy. We’ll be testing that theory tomorrow.

Of course, if I could just rewind the clock 20 years and run all freaking day on nothing more than grape soda and Pixie Stix, I would be a happy happy lady. I took that body for granted, man. I would punch a baby to have that body back. Apparently, society frowns upon baby-punching so I will have to get that body back the old-fashioned way.

DRUGS!

Wait. Can’t afford the sort of drugs it would take. Shit. I guess it’s even more old-fashioned: diet and exercise. The diet part is fine. I suppose I could eat plain baked chicken breast and plain brown rice and steamed cauliflower and all that Biggest Loser bullshit, but life is too short and I’m putting barbecue sauce on all of it. I eat whatever the hell I want but I am trying to be hyper-aware of the volume of my food. Life is too short to eat shitty food, but it’s definitely fine if I eat a little bit of the good stuff.

Overall, I feel pretty good. The Nike sports bra is doing its job admirably, so I think I’m going to go out and purchase a couple more of them. I am probably ready for new shoes, which means I will have to start over since I bought the current pair two years ago and Saucony has had at least two updates to this model since then. The knees are feeling all right (might have to IcyHot my right one, which is a bastard), the hips feel better than they have, and the lungs are still working.

Hmmm, yes. I will have to hydrate better. It’s 10 minutes since I got off the treadmill and my lips are a little dry. Noted!