The other day, I was waiting in the school lobby to pick up the Exploding Germ Factory known as my child. If the kid isn’t going on a bus, a parent or someone has to sign them out to walk home. It’s a pain in my ass to have to do this but rules are rules! (Insert obligatory “in my day…” rant. Also, get off my lawn).
And that’s fine – over the past couple of years I’ve been doing this, I have made friends and acquaintances so there are always people to chat with. It’s nice and it makes me even more glad we moved to a cute little town like this instead of a sprawling suburb.
So I’m waiting around, chatting with the other parents, and out of the corner of my eye, I spot a lady I don’t think I’ve seen before. At least, she wasn’t a regular, because I didn’t recognize her. She looked like a perfectly nice lady except for one thing.
Pinned to the front of her overcoat was a button that said “Yes! You may wish me a Merry Christmas!”
My first reaction? “oh, FUCK YOU, lady. Seriously.”
(but only in my head, because I’m not a semi-professional jackass in real life. Only on the internet)
It pains me, physically, to think that someone SPENT MONEY on such a thing and feels a need to wear it around in public and not treat it as the absolute fucking joke that it is. A person who would purchase and wear such a button is probably the type of person who thinks letting The Gays get married is a threat to the American Family. I. ROLL. MY. EYES.
COME ON, people. THERE IS NO WAR ON CHRISTMAS. Ask any Jewish person you know if there is any danger of Christmas going away and they will tell you. If someone wants to wish me a Merry Christmas, I will smile and say it back to them even though I don’t celebrate Christmas anymore (but boy do I want to put up a tree. Ask me about it sometime). If someone wishes me a “Happy Holidays” I will smile and say it back to them and then I will think extra happy thoughts about that person for wanting to include EVERYONE IN THE WORLD instead of just the people who believe in one particular mythology.
There are lots of religions out there and lots of mythologies who are having festive times this month, why not include them all?
But that button just rubs me the wrong goddamned way, and if I happen to run into this lady or anyone else sporting a similar button, I am going to GO OUT OF MY WAY to wish them “Happy Holidays.”
Bitches.