Starting over, again. AGAIN.

Well. 2012 sucked in a major way as far as my fitness goals are concerned. I spent the first quarter with hurt knees. Spent the second quarter rehabbing those knees. Right as the third quarter was getting good, I broke my foot, and have been benched ever since.

I feel like I am trying to climb a mountain. Backwards. This is SO FRUSTRATING. I know it’s a process and that there will be setbacks, but it feels like for every step forward, I take a giant leap back. It sucks. I feel like I am always starting from zero and right as I get to say, level 1, I am broken in some way and need to start over. Again.

So here we are. I broke my foot on September 2nd. Three months later, things are feeling all right, but I am petrified that anything I do is going to hurt it, even though it feels fine and I’ve been given the green light to do whatever (except perhaps trail running, which would be the stupidest thing I could possibly do at the moment).

Well, okay. It’s hard. So hard. Having to overcome my natural inertia coupled with the seasonal ennui that always descends on me this time of year is hard hard HARD. Some days, getting out of bed is a huge victory.

I try to remember my mantra: train the lungs. Train the heart. Train the mind. The body will follow.

But the body keeps trying to fall apart! STUPID BODY.

I’ve accepted that I’ll probably never be pain-free. I’ll probably never run a full race of any distance, but will always have to do some kind of walk/run combo. That, I’m fine with. The thing I have to work on now is fear. Fear of what else is going to break or fail or need fixing.

Luckily (and I’ve said this before), I have all the tools I need. I have my various doctors and physical therapists and trainers upon whom I can call for advice and reassurance when I need it. I have a schedule that allows me plenty of time for stretching and icing and more stretching before and after workouts. I have Tylenol.

2013 has got to be better.

Comments Off on Starting over, again. AGAIN.

Filed under Me Me Me

Comments are closed.