A few weeks ago, we used eBay to sell our XBox Rock Band set, since it was taking up space and nobody was using it. It sold fairly quickly and the money went into his dormant PayPal account, because of course it did.
He tried to log in and verify his account and jump through whatever other hoops, but was unsuccessful. That’s where we begin our scene.
*Bling!* (that’s my obnoxious email notification sound)
[It’s a forwarded email from Freddie, regarding his PayPal account.]
Him: I can’t figure this out!
Me: Hang on, let me see what I can do.
I click the link in the forwarded email.
I am asked for his PayPal password, which I don’t know and can’t guess. It’s been ages since he used it. Instead, I click “change password.” PayPal sends an email to him.
I then log in to his gmail account, because I’m his wife and I know things like passwords, bank account numbers, social security numbers, and can forge signatures when needed. I open the “hey, someone wants to change your password” email, follow the prompts, and enter a new password. Easy enough.
Go back to PayPal, go through the various steps of verification, adding a credit card. No need to add the bank account, since I’m shutting his PayPal down as soon as I transfer the money to MY PayPal account, which gets used more often. It’s stupid for us to have two different accounts and since I am the Chief Financial Officer of this company, I get to decide how we manage things.
Meanwhile, my phone is blowing up because he’s forwarding me the “OMG YOUR PASSWORD CHANGED” emails from his gmail.
Me: Stop forwarding me shit. I’m fixing it.
Him: I thought you would need these emails.
Me: I’m logged into your gmail right now. Stop messing with it.
Him: I feel so violated!
Me: It’s not like this is a mortgage or a will! Calm down.
Thirty seconds later, I have access to his PayPal balance. I send it to myself, and all is right with the world. I honestly don’t know what he was or wasn’t doing and why he couldn’t just… change his password and stuff, but as any woman knows, there are just some questions you don’t want to know the answers to. He had nearly a month to figure it out and it took me thirty seconds.