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We’re watching The Great Escape (for the sixth billionth time) and I am going insane trying to find out who plays the Hitler Youth kid on the train after the escape. I could swear it’s Richard Gere, but he’s not credited and his IMDB listing only goes back to 1973 or something.

And wasn’t Richard Gere is M*A*S*H? I know he was in the TV series, but I could SWEAR that he’s one of the MPs from the post-operation scene in Japan. He doesn’t have any lines but spends the 4 seconds or however long he’s on-screen chomping on his gum. I swear I’m not making this up - we’ve watched that movie hundreds of times.

This sort of thing drives me batty, which is why I had to start digging around on the internet. I haven’t found confirmation or a firm denial of either of these two theories of mine, and that is sad. The internet always delivers! ALWAYS!

No, I am not climbing the coffee table, why do you ask?


Say Cheese!


She’s got that crazy look in her eyes….


Jillian and her buddy, Elmo.


Best. Face. Ever.

Bleh. I… don’t even have anything coherent to say. This rain and greyness and ick are just making my brain feel like mush.

Maybe this will improve when we get the house painted - the living room is a cave right now which is NOT HELPING. I hate when I have to turn the lights on in the middle of the day. Once we change colors in here, it should be a LOT brighter.

Until then, bleh.

Hi! Remember me?

We’ve been busy here, what with the sniffles turning into the barfy flu or somesuch. Everyone is feeling better now, thanks to huge amounts of water and green tea and the judicious use of generic Mucinex.

Jillian dove head-first into a dining room chair late last week, which produced a cut on her eye and a fantastic bruise on her eyelid, which makes her look like she’s halfway through some kind of Goth makeover.

This happened because she was wearing a cute outfit, and I thought it might be cute to get her pictures taken in it. Ten minutes after I had this thought, BAM! Into the chair she went. So I am officially telling the universe that we are NOT getting pictures done anytime soon. The last time I had planned to get them done, she went face-first in the driveway and wrecked her face BUT GOOD.

I almost can’t take her out anywhere when she’s had a crash because I get disapproving stares from all the old ladies. Don’t they remember having a toddler? Crashing is what they do.

As an added bonus, Jillian is genetically related to both my mother and myself, so I’m amazed every single day that she can even walk upright. Of course, Jillian does everything she can to NOT walk upright. Today’s favorite activity had her putting a dishtowel over her head, spinning around in a circle, and then attempting to run. She’s not even 2 years old yet and she’s playing stupid frat games. Sweet.

We have finally scheduled the painter for the living room/dining room/kitchen. All I have to do is finalize the color scheme (and a scheme is definitely what it will be), then vacate the premises for a few days. Toddlers + interior painting in April = ick. We shall decamp to my parents’ house for the week, where Jillian will charm everyone silly and hopefully NOT kill any of the pets.

Freddie gave me my birthday present a month early. We are not good with delayed gratification (we’re both Aries), but that’s okay. He got me a Wii!!!! It’s so cool! The controls take some getting used to, but it is super fun. Tennis and bowling are big favorites here!

So other than that, everything else is situation normal: super-boring. But boring is good, because it means there’s no DRAMA!! And we hate the drama.

I have been sick for a week now. I spent most of Thursday night barfing up my toenails, which was a pleasant experience for everyone involved. In fact, I felt so icky and bad that I had to cancel the party we had planned for tonight. I never cancel parties! I’ve been known to get my party on while battling bronchitis, for feck’s sake!

But cancel I did, because the amount of prep work involved is just too much for me while I’m sick and/or recovering. I think I’m on the mend now, but who knows? I’m too exhausted to tell.

Going back to bed is not an option today, since Freddie is in NYC and Jillian is indestructably healthy, so she’s in fine form, mashing Cheerios into the carpet and screaming for no apparent reason. Good times.

Is 9:30 too early to start drinking?

This morning, Freddie woke up and went to get Jillian out of the crib and started on her day of destroying things. As he was changing her out of her jammies, she pointed at his t-shirt and said “Iyonman!”

Most of Freddie’s t-shirts say this.

I was up and moving about by this time (I had to pee, or you can bet I would still be in bed), so I wandered in there to see what all the fuss was about.

Freddie asked me, “Did you teach her this?”

“Teach her what?”

He pointed at his shirt. “Jillian, what does this say?”

“Iyonman!”

We have created some kind of freaky genius. Freddie spent the next hour or so wandering around saying “there is no way a 19-month-old is reading. No. Way.”

I know. I’m scared too.