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I ran yesterday, did pretty well. I am starting to see the top of “the hump” over which I must get in order for this to continue. My biggest hurdle [heh] right now is half my brain trying to talk the other half out of continuing. I have lost 4 pounds in the past 4 days, so… that’s a pretty good incentive to keep at it.

After roughly 10 years of not being able to play it, I took my flute to the repair place to have it looked at. My sister gave that flute to me 24 years ago, and it served me VERY well. She made noises a few years ago about maybe wanting it back, but… she has a lucrative career! She can go buy a new one! [evil] Anyway, the guy said that he’s been fixing instruments for upwards of 40 years and he’s only had 5 or 6 that he just couldn’t save, so prognosis is good. And he said that if it’s completely unfixable, he will give me a deal on a new-to-me flute, but things look good and it’s a huge bonus that my flute is American-made. Apparently that’s rare these days, which is sad. Most instruments, even the big names like Gemeinhardt and such are made in China. But the thing is AT LEAST 30 years old, and was China even a country then?

Once the flute is playable again, I will get out the guitar. For some reason, the flute has always made music more accessible to me. I find if I play it on the flute, then I get a sense of what it’s supposed to sound like and then playing it on saxophone or guitar or whatever feels easier. It’s weird and hard to explain, but that’s pretty much the way I’m made.

My half-marathon training started today. It went about as well as could be expected, given my extreme laziness and aversion to physical exertion of any kind.

Some people are “yay! Running is the best! WOOOO!!” Those people are clearly insane. I am more of a “just do it” sort of person, which I’m sure Nike appreciates because it’s further proof that their marketing works.

But I run in Sauconys.

Still, I did it. 3 minutes of running, 2 minutes of walking times 7. It got a bit icky in the middle there but I KEPT AT IT. I think I need to drink more water before I run because the legs felt a bit heavy. We’ll be testing that theory tomorrow.

Of course, if I could just rewind the clock 20 years and run all freaking day on nothing more than grape soda and Pixie Stix, I would be a happy happy lady. I took that body for granted, man. I would punch a baby to have that body back. Apparently, society frowns upon baby-punching so I will have to get that body back the old-fashioned way.

DRUGS!

Wait. Can’t afford the sort of drugs it would take. Shit. I guess it’s even more old-fashioned: diet and exercise. The diet part is fine. I suppose I could eat plain baked chicken breast and plain brown rice and steamed cauliflower and all that Biggest Loser bullshit, but life is too short and I’m putting barbecue sauce on all of it. I eat whatever the hell I want but I am trying to be hyper-aware of the volume of my food. Life is too short to eat shitty food, but it’s definitely fine if I eat a little bit of the good stuff.

Overall, I feel pretty good. The Nike sports bra is doing its job admirably, so I think I’m going to go out and purchase a couple more of them. I am probably ready for new shoes, which means I will have to start over since I bought the current pair two years ago and Saucony has had at least two updates to this model since then. The knees are feeling all right (might have to IcyHot my right one, which is a bastard), the hips feel better than they have, and the lungs are still working.

Hmmm, yes. I will have to hydrate better. It’s 10 minutes since I got off the treadmill and my lips are a little dry. Noted!

None, so far. Training plan starts next week and the motivation just isn’t there. It’s a combination of the cold and my natural tendency toward slothfulness, I’m sure. But something has got to change. I have a bad feeling that something is going to be me getting up at 5AM to take the jackass dog out and then head down to the treadmill. Ugh.

However, I am consciously trying to NOT WHINE. On the surface, there is nothing at all to whine about. My family and I are reasonably healthy. We just spent a week in Sunny Florida, hitting the ocean by day and Phish by night. What’s not to love? We have a warm and somewhat comfortable house to live in, which is going to be expanded this year. We have a car that is in fine condition, and one month from now, we will own that truck. At which point it will probably up and die like the VW did in 2006, but WHATEVER. As of this writing, the truck is A-OK. So, not much to whine about. I have everything a normal person could want, and I am trying VERY hard to be grateful and appreciative of these things. It’s going pretty well.

The only obstacle to this is OTHER PEOPLE. I am so fucking sick of people whining and bitching and moaning about how bad their lives are. Okay, sure - some folks have been dealt a shitty hand and whatnot, but it’s the people who are in more or less the same boat as me. What the fuck are they complaining about? Yes, I know I’m complaining about the complainers. It’s my ‘thing.’ Lemme have it.

And even that isn’t a big deal. I just hum and smile and get on with it.

So what’s the deal? I think this weather is fucking me up. Before we left for Florida, I was starting to feel a leeeetle bit unbalanced, like I felt in 2004 when I lost my mind good and proper. Back then, losing my mind wasn’t a big deal because I only really had to worry about myself but now? Not a good thing, you see. I have the kid and the dog relying on me to clean up their various puddles of pee, so I have to be in my more or less right mind to do so.

That trip to Florida was great. Sun! Sand! Water! PHISH! It was exactly what I needed to get me out of that fog and into a good headspace. Of course, we’ve been back for almost a week and with the cold and ick, I’m seeing the fog attempt to return. Gotta do something about that.

Which brings me back to exercise. Tomorrow morning I’ll attempt the early treadmill session and see what happens.

I’m too lazy to look back and see what my resolutions were for 2009. Perhaps I’ll get around to that later. Here we go for 2010:

1. Move more. Am scheduled to do a half-marathon in April, and need to get motivated to train for it.

2. Finish what I start. Half-marathon included.

3. Knit more. How this will mesh with marathon training I do not know, but I will find a way.

4. Manage my time better. This will probably mean less time spent in front of the computer. Probably a good thing.

5. Stop getting coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts. See, people RAVE about this shit and I just don’t see it. Yet there are times when I need coffee and a Dunkin’ is the only thing around and I think “hmmm, maybe this time it will be all right” and IT NEVER EVER IS. I don’t know what the hell you people are talking about with Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, but it fucking SUCKS. It’s horrible. Tastes like it’s been filtered through my 8th-grade boyfriend’s wrestling uniform and then cut with motor oil. Life is too short to drink shitty coffee.

6. Keep the house a bit cleaner. Ugh. Actually, this is sort of cheating because we’re renovating in a few months so I will have a couple of months where I won’t be able to do anything about the mess. Thumbs up!

7. Make more music. I have three saxophones, a clarinet, a guitar, a mellophone, and a flute (that is unplayable but I can get it fixed). I have really been feeling the absence of music in my life and need to fix that.

8. Have a less-ambitious but more-manageable garden. Last year was a disaster.

9. Love the life I have.