Category Archives: Teh Internets

Modern Marriage: A Scene

A few weeks ago, we used eBay to sell our XBox Rock Band set, since it was taking up space and nobody was using it. It sold fairly quickly and the money went into his dormant PayPal account, because of course it did.

He tried to log in and verify his account and jump through whatever other hoops, but was unsuccessful. That’s where we begin our scene.

*Bling!* (that’s my obnoxious email notification sound)

[It’s a forwarded email from Freddie, regarding his PayPal account.]

Him: I can’t figure this out!

Me: Hang on, let me see what I can do.

I click the link in the forwarded email.

I am asked for his PayPal password, which I don’t know and can’t guess. It’s been ages since he used it. Instead, I click “change password.” PayPal sends an email to him.

I then log in to his gmail account, because I’m his wife and I know things like passwords, bank account numbers, social security numbers, and can forge signatures when needed. I open the “hey, someone wants to change your password” email, follow the prompts, and enter a new password. Easy enough.

Go back to PayPal, go through the various steps of verification, adding a credit card. No need to add the bank account, since I’m shutting his PayPal down as soon as I transfer the money to MY PayPal account, which gets used more often. It’s stupid for us to have two different accounts and since I am the Chief Financial Officer of this company, I get to decide how we manage things.

Meanwhile, my phone is blowing up because he’s forwarding me the “OMG YOUR PASSWORD CHANGED” emails from his gmail.

Me: Stop forwarding me shit. I’m fixing it.

Him: I thought you would need these emails.

Me: I’m logged into your gmail right now. Stop messing with it.

Him: I feel so violated!

Me: It’s not like this is a mortgage or a will! Calm down.

Thirty seconds later, I have access to his PayPal balance. I send it to myself, and all is right with the world. I honestly don’t know what he was or wasn’t doing and why he couldn’t just… change his password and stuff, but as any woman knows, there are just some questions you don’t want to know the answers to. He had nearly a month to figure it out and it took me thirty seconds.

Ah, life.

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Filed under Freddie, Me Me Me, Teh Internets


For the first time, someone who is not me took a thing that I wrote and put it someplace where other people could see it.

Here is that thing.

Pac-Man Kill Screen

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Filed under Me Me Me, Teh Internets


I’m thinking really hard about shutting the blog down. I just don’t feel free to write here anymore, and I am thinking about going back to being anonymous so I can really let fly. There are folks out there who read my blog and feel as though it’s their right to hold anything and everything I say over my head for some unfathomable reason.

I understand it completely. I have taken steps to block those folks but I don’t really feel like that should be necessary. Indeed, it’s probably not even all that effective since I’m sure there are ways around or over any walls I erect. Sigh.

Because of that and a few other things, I just don’t feel free here like I used to. And that saddens me.

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Filed under Teh Internets

Next move

I wonder what Squeaky Fromme will do now that she’s ‘free.’ Apparently she was granted parole for good conduct or whatever the hell they call it, but the AP rundown of her prison career doesn’t read like that of a model inmate. Weirdness.

All that Manson Family stuff happened six years before I was born, but I have always found the story fascinating. That kind of killing is always fascinating in a morbid way, but the circus that surrounded it all is where my attention has always gone. From the protests outside the courtroom to the protests INSIDE the courtroom, all of that is just so amazing to me.

Especially now, where the news cycle is soooo short – I wonder how it would have all played out had it happened in 2009 and not 1969. We would have had live feeds from Sharon Tate’s house, leaked cell-phone images of the crime scene, up-to-the-second Twitter feeds, the whole mess. Would that make it more or less horrible?

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Filed under Stuff, Teh Internets

Whew. Thanks Mike!!

Had a bit of a problem earlier, but thanks to the magic that is Mike Hanley, it appears to be fixed. Please everyone send your single female ladies to Austin, Texas so Mike can ply them with queso.

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Filed under Teh Internets


Sooooooooo….. that catastrophic data loss I had last week? Where my user profile appeared to be deleted and I proceeded to LOSE MY FREAKING MIND because I thought I’d lost all my music and pictures?

Apparently it didn’t actually happen.

After five full days of freaking right out and then restoring the data (twice!) and MANUALLY deleting 18,000 song files that were copied somehow by the restore, I finally felt confident enough to take the computer out of backup mode and re-start it.

So I held my breath, crossed my fingers, and hit ‘restart.’

Since I am superstitious and computer fuck-ups tend to make me a wee bit homicidal, I didn’t sit around to watch the beeping and booping and whirring and whatnot of the restart. I went into another room altogether to wait a few minutes. I might have prayed a little bit. Maybe.

I gathered up whatever remained of my wits and tiptoed cautiously back to the table.


It was all back. ALL OF IT. My old desktop photo, all the crap bookmarks/shortcuts on the desktop… all of it. As if nothing had ever happened.

I am so confused. Grateful, sure. But confused as all get-out because WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED in the first place? I went through five full days of losing my shit for NO GOOD REASON? I like to at least have a reason when I lose my mind, you know?

SO confused. And now I’m going to constantly be worried that this will happen again. I know it’s not a tragedy, since I do have backup, but I don’t need this kind of anxiety! I create enough on my own, dammit!


Filed under Stuff, Teh Internets

The rage, the rage, the rage is calling

My internet service is not the greatest. It comes and goes, usually without reason or pattern. This is not a good thing.

It went out again today. Told me there was a problem with the DNS, and… the error message directed me to a website for more info. When I couldn’t access the internet. Well played, Microsoft Vista. Well played, indeed.

Shut UP, Microsoft Vista.

So… the internet was out and so was the phone (VoIP), which meant I had to not only locate, but use my cell phone. This is a challenge in many ways: once the phone is located, I have to hope it’s charged. Otherwise, I am tethered to the nearest plug while it charges. The Deafness factor does not help this, nor does the Toddler Factor.

Phone was found, was medium-charged, and because I’m stupid, I called the cable company and opted to allow it to walk me through the troubleshooting steps with the automated system. DON’T EVER TRY THIS if you cannot handle stupidity.

Eventually, I gave up trying to make the thing understand me when I said “continue” and I got a human on the phone. Who could not hear me because the phone was breaking up. I suppose this is what one can expect when one has a $7 cell phone.

I gave up. Had some lunch. Decided to give it another shot and here we are. But for how long?

As much as I love and adore my computer and my Imaginary Internet Friends who live inside it, I could probably be perfectly happy living without this shiny machine. But I don’t want to find out for sure.

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Because you can read this

In the early days of November 2007, someone hanging around Rockefeller Center in NYC might have seen a woman in a tomato costume dancing around the place while people watched, took pictures, and in at least one case – video.

One might wonder just WHY a woman would do this, so I shall point them here: Tomato Nation.

That’s the website of one Ms. Sarah D. Bunting, co-founder of Television Without Pity and snarkstress extraordinaire. I’ve had a wee fangirly crush on her for YEARS, but that’s not why I’m talking about her today.

Sars and her tomato costume want to go to Washington D.C. To get her there, We The Readers need to throw a whole bunch of cash at the Donors Choose challenge she has set up. Last year, there was some puny initial goal, and as We The Readers crushed it handily, she kept raising the bar, insisting that if we managed to donate enough money, she’d dress as a tomato and do a dance outside Rockefeller Center. Not just any dance, mind you – the Angela Chase post-Jordan-kiss dance from My So-Called Life (which, incidentally, is the reason I dyed my hair that wacky shade of red in the summer of 2003. I’d been watching episodes online. Now you know).

We The Readers made that happen last year. So she set the bar REALLY high this year – $100,000. In one month. If We The Readers hit that $100K mark, Sars and her tomato costume will go to Washington D.C. and see the sights. This must happen! Extra bonus? She gives stuff away! Prizes! Who doesn’t like prizes?

The happy side-effect of making an otherwise sane-seeming woman do these things is because Donors Choose benefits schoolchildren all over the country. Teachers can write in asking for money for specific projects – they tell you what they need and why. Most, if not all, of the teachers who write in to Donors Choose are from schools that are in high-poverty areas, and these kids are in need of basic things like PENCILS. Can you imagine going to school and not even having something to write with? My mom used to get pencils with my name on them for me every year, which was nice since Stanley Calhoun stole them one time in fourth grade and denied doing it. The proof was right there! Pencil! With my name on it! Thanks, mom!

But there are thousands of kids whose parents can’t afford the crappy embossed pencils out of the Lillian Vernon catalog and their teachers can’t afford to be supplying them, either. That’s where We The Readers come in. We The Readers go to Tomato Nation. We click on the link for the Fall Contest, which takes us to the Donors Choose page. We choose a project we would like to throw money at. We then apologize for ending a sentence with ‘at’ even though it is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, despite what you may have heard (that prohibition comes from some jackasses attempting to impose the grammatical rules of Latin onto English which is Germanic and perfectly happy to have sentences end in prepositions. Still, some habits die hard). We donate. The total rises. Sars gets closer to Washington D.C. Kids get books! And pencils! And stuff!

Last year, I bought a clarinet for a school in Neptune, NJ, and they sent me a thank-you package with hand-written notes and photos that made me all weepy. And you know how much of a blackhearted bitch I am!! I know some kid is going to make horrendous noises with that clarinet I bought, and that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. I spent many years making horrendous noises with a saxophone (and then an oboe), so I know what that’s like.

I know the economy sucks and that your 401(k) is more like a 201(k) right now, but if you have $10 to spare, think about clicking over to Tomato Nation to find out how you can help some kids who need it. Kids who will need it more than ever if things keep going the way they’re going now. If you are reading these words, it’s because someone taught you how to do that. Now is your chance to help another kid get the same opportunity.



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Filed under Other People, Teh Internets

Everyone’s favorite: A list of random crap!

1. If you’re getting here via Tomato Nation comments, I apologize for making you read this drivel. I have one more book to offer – just drop me a comment and we’ll hash it out.

2. Nice job, USA track & field relay teams. Dropping the baton is a great way to go.

3. Ms. Prufrock called me cool (or awesome or something else nice, I forget what it was exactly) the other day so now I feel obligated to post and post brilliantly more often. This one’s for you, Pru!

4. I have approximately four Very Important Projects to work on, so naturally I’ve been spending far too much time on Facebook. I can’t help myself – between the stalking opportunities and Pieces of Flair, it’s a perfect place for someone like myself who… ooh, shiny!

5. The Jillian is starting to speak English with a lot more fluency these days. I can’t keep up with her sometimes. Girlfriend can even count to ten! I don’t know if she knows what it means, exactly, but it sounds good.

6. She’s ‘reading’ Snow White right now. I’m a little bit grossed out by Snow White and her desire to be saved by a handsome prince and all of that. So when I read it to her, I can’t help but interject my own commentary which is usually along the lines of “… because Snow White is a NINNY.” Snow White needs to get herself a clue and take care of her ownself. And for fuck’s sake – who doesn’t learn the rule about taking candy (or apples) from strangers? Does she have no Stranger Danger instinct at all? I think Snow White is a bit touched in the head, to be quite honest.

7. If it’s not obvious, can I just tell you all how much I am dreading Jillian’s absorption into the Disney Machine? I don’t mind the old-skool Mickey Mouse stuff so much, but the Disney Princesses make me want to hurt myself. But I will gladly put up with any amount of Princess crap as long as it keeps those Bratz dolls out of my house. Those things are truly scary.

8. So, I’m a little bit ashamed to admit this but I just read “The Notebook” by Nicholas Sparks. It suuuuuuuuuuuuucked. The movie was about 12 times better, and I don’t think I have ever said that about any movie made from a book. Mr. Sparks cannot write for shit, yet he is a bestselling author. Just goes to show that we live in a culture that doesn’t give a fuck about what it’s consuming (see also Cheez Doodles, McDonald’s, MTV). My mom’s dog can write better dialogue than Sparks can.

9. I probably had a real reason to post today but I’ll be damned if I can remember what it was.

10. Because ten is a nice place to end this.


Filed under Books, Jillian, Me Me Me, Movies, Other People, Stuff, Teh Internets


I have a highly-developed sense of humor. The things that are funny to me are REALLY funny. As in, I am unable to breathe right now from the crying laughter brought on by Cake Wrecks.

Seriously, go to the beginning and read from there – and the comments, too if you have time.

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