Where’s Dorian Gray?

My MRI results have come back, and while I can’t decipher the handwriting completely, it appears that I have a bit of arthritis under my kneecap. It stands to reason that my right knee is having the same issue – the pain is similar but not nearly as acute as it is on the left side.


I had a feeling it would be something like this, because on the evening of my MRI, I was checking myself out in the mirror and I found my first grey hair (on my head, AHEM). I might have had it for years, but this is the first time in a LONG time that my natural hair color has grown out enough to make the grey ones stand out. Wheeeeeeeee! I’m already mostly deaf, and now there’s arthritis and grey hair! What’s next, a sudden urge for rice pudding?

I knew that there wouldn’t be any kind of panacea for this, but a cursory look around the internet tells me that there is not a whole lot that I CAN do. Most of what I read was “well, there are activities that will aggravate you knees. Stop doing them. They include walking, running, stairs, lunges, and squats.” ALL THINGS I NEED TO DO. I also read a lot of “lose some weight, fatty.”


So there’s that. I am only mostly disgruntled about it (instead of completely disgruntled) because I am about to turn 37 and shit starts falling off of people, you know? My knees have NEVER been good, so this is just the next step in my alarmingly rapid degeneration into an elderly woman. I already drink a lot of tea and am a shawl enthusiast, you see.

However. There are things that need to get done, namely this Ironman quest I have set for myself (just because I’m elderly doesn’t mean I’m SANE, you know). Which means I am going to have to learn to be best friends with painkillers and ice packs. JOY.

I haven’t been to the doctor yet to discuss my options. I’m guessing surgery is probably out, and I’m sure there will be things available like physical therapy and drugs, so we’ll see what happens there. In the meantime, I suppose I should locate my razor, address the yeti situation on my body, and hop in the pool.

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