The visiting hours at the inpatient rehab are VERY short and VERY strict. They have a lot of rules there and if you don’t follow them all, they will kick you out and not let you back in. Hrmph.
Even though I hadn’t planned to go there at all today, I ended up making that drive TWICE. The first time it was because Professor Hospital Gown demanded clothing. I don’t blame him – dude hasn’t worn underpantses since Sept 5th! So I packed up a bag of stuff for him and was halfway there when my phone rang from that number.
I hate the phone. HATE. 99.9% of the time, I’m not picking up the phone for anyone. But these are strange times so I pulled over and took the call. It was the rehab place, wanting more info on Kid Gorgeous over there, so I said “look, I’m hearing-impaired and I’m literally on my way to your facility right now so let’s do this in person because it will be easier for everyone.” People don’t really know how to take that, but I am so far beyond caring about stuff like that. Either talk to my face or figure out a different way.
So I got there and went through their terribly thorough Covid screening and chatted with the case manager and dropped off the bag of clothes. Couldn’t put eyes on our man at that time because visiting hours are between 4:30 and 6:30. That JUST SO HAPPENS to be the most lucrative time for me to drive GrubHub but oh well. Grr.
I came back home and did stuff around the house, then I had to swing by the eye doctor to get the Quick & Dirty Eyeglasses. The story behind that is a fun one. On Tuesday, it looked like our BMX Bandit was about to be heading to rehab and even though we did locate his glasses, they gave up the fight and one of the side pieces fell off. No amount of nerdy-looking tape was going to keep that arm on there so I took matters into my own hands and called the eye doctor. Did I mention my dustup with the Pearle Vision people? I know I complained about it on Facebook, but Pearle Vision is currently on my “dead to me” list because they were rude as hell. So despite the fact that they made the most current pair of eyeglasses, I had to go to the source.
I got them on the phone and asked, nicely, for them to make me a pair of glasses to Freddie’s current prescription. Them: “he’s due for an exam.”
Me: That’s not going to be possible just now, so can you please make for me the quickest and cheapest pair of glasses you possibly can?
Them: Well… I don’t know… um…
Me: Bicycle crash… landed on face… in hospital for over a week… no glasses… PLEASE JUST DO THE THING I’M ASKING YOU TO DO. I DO NOT CARE WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. I DO NOT CARE WHAT THEY COST. I JUST NEED. A PAIR. OF GLASSES. AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN GET THEM TO ME, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Them: Do you want anti-glare coating? That takes a little longer.
Them: Got it. So, they won’t be exactly his prescription (progressive bifocal situation) so he won’t really be able to read with them).
Me: That’s fine, I just need something to stick on his head so he doesn’t make his concussion headaches worse because he can’t see.
Them: Okay. Um, will he be coming in to pick out frames?
Me: [SCREAMS] No, because HE CANNOT CURRENTLY WALK. Put them in literally any frames you like. Think Buddy Holly. Hell, put them in something that Elton John would reject as ‘too much.’ I. DO. NOT. CARE.
Them: We’ll call you back.
They called me back. Them: “Okay, we can put in an order for his current prescription in the same frames he had in 2017, is that okay?”
Me: yes, that’s fine that’s perfectly acceptable just literally I need them basically immediately.
Them: You can pick them up on Thursday.
FINE! YES! GOOD!
Picked them up on my way to Costco to get the new tires on my truck. Ahhhh hahahahahaha remember “before?” When we could drop $800 on tires for the truck and it wasn’t that big a deal? Remember that time? THAT WAS AWESOME. And remember when we thought maybe he’d be home by today so scheduling the appointment for mid-afternoon seemed reasonable? HAHAHA ohhh we were so young then.
That went fine. They had my truck up and down within an hour and I spent that time outside in the sun, reading my book. At some point I was joined by a spider and I *think* I brushed it off me but it might still be on my person somewhere and so I might have to set myself on fire JUST IN CASE. I’ll take a shower later and see if I can drown any passengers I might have.
ANYWAY, I finished up at the Costco (I did a quick run through there to pick up some stuff like hearing aid batteries and TP because we ran OUT of Costco TP during the early days of lockdown and had to use inferior TP for MONTHS and we can’t run that risk again) and headed up to Chester (again) to see Wheels McGee.
He was so pleased to have clothes on, finally! He’s currently getting physical therapy, neurological therapy, and occupational therapy, all of which are aimed at getting him back into his regular life. He is, believe it or not, a bit anxious about all of this and what it all might MEAN but I keep telling him that he’ll get there but it will take TIME and PATIENCE.
Raise your hand if you’re shocked that neither of us are terribly patient about anything, ever. No one? Exactly.
Patience is going to be the key ingredient in our recovery over here. That is, unfortunately, not a thing at which I am fantastically skilled. I am more of a “make this happen now, why isn’t this happening now, who is keeping this from happening now and why haven’t they been killed?” So it’s going to be a real fun time here at The House of Flying Pigs while The Captain makes his way (or is dragged) back to full strength. This is going to be the hard part. He stresses me OUT sometimes and it makes my anxiety go off and that makes my stomach churn which makes me burp a little bit and I had an everything bagel earlier so that’s not a fun thing for me to do.
But we’ll get through it. We have an amazing and vast support network [waves at all of you] and even though I’m bad at leaning on my support network, I am going to need all of you people in the next weeks and months, if only to avoid me having to murder someone. Gah.
There it goes again.