Category Archives: Stuff

Friday random list thing

1. I am making cookies for my nearest and dearest for the holidays this year. To that end, I went to Costco today to get certain supplies in bulk. A 72-oz bag of chocolate chips is a very sexy thing. I have a list of about 15 different things I’m planning to make – we’ll see how many I get through before I am thoroughly sick of baking.

2. The sun seems to have gone on vacation. I am not amused.

3. WTF, HBO? You have the rights and releases to so many movies, yet you persist in showing the absolutely sub-par ones OVER AND OVER. Why not some mediocre movies once in a while? And what the hell is up with your On-Demand? It sucks almost as much as the regular channels do.

4. I am in the mood for sushi.

5. I have finally figured out knitting with double-pointed needles. Yeah, I know it’s not exactly a professional-level skill, but it was frustrating me to the point that I was perfectly happy making other stuff. Until I discovered mittens. Oh, the mittens. I am in love with knitting mittens. I am told they are the gateway project to socks, an addiction to which has affected many a knitter before me. I am reluctant to hit the socks, but… I do have some self-striping sock yarn in the stash, so maybe I’ll give them a try.

6. I need another bookcase. We rearranged the living room furniture when we re-acquired a second small bookcase, but now there is a giant pile of books that need a home and the remaining large bookcase just can’t hold them all. I suppose I could get rid of some books, but I did that when we moved and I just don’t think I can cull the herd any more.

7. I could really use a beer or seven.

8. Facebook cracks me up on a near-hourly basis. People from my past turn up in the most unexpected of places.

9. NaNoWriMo is a no-go again this year. Who picked November for this, anyway? The one month out of the year when I have crap to do – why not January when the weather is extra-shitty and nobody goes anywhere or does anything because they’re paying off their holiday debt (or not, as the case may be)?

10. Did you know that the producers of “The Brady Bunch” originally considered Gene Hackman for the role of Mr. Brady? Can you imagine what our world would be like if that had happened?

11. We haven’t talked about my boobs in awhile, have we? I had a whole post planned out about that very subject but I haven’t gotten around to writing it yet. It’s thrilling stuff, I tell you. But then again, it’s about my boobs, so why wouldn’t it be?

12. I have to start researching types of dogs since we’re thinking about getting one next spring.

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Our laptop was officially ‘elderly’ the day after we bought it. Four years later, someone, whose name rhymes with Shmeddie Mack spilled orange soda on the keyboard, effectively incapacitating it. A USB keyboard was acquired and that worked surprisingly well (despite the fact that the theme to Sanford and Son played in my head every time I looked at it).

Until it didn’t. The laptop keyboard decided to be retarded and go ““~~~~“`~~~“~~~~ like a mad thing. So I did what any red-blooded American would do in an economic crisis both personal and national: I went to Best Buy and bought a new laptop.

It’s so shiny! And new! And shiny! And will give me a chance to start over with my Sims! My first priority, obviously, is getting all of my iTunes crap moved over successfully (we are not hopeful, not at all) and then all my words (my previous blog is still in Word document format – all two million words of blather), and then I can re-install all my Sims. Now, I know I could transfer my game files from the old ‘puter to the new one but I’m not going to. I would like a clean slate, and maybe, just maybe, I can create heterosexual Sims.

All my Sims are gay. I have no idea why this is, but it has always been the case.

So, new computer. Hooray! That means more and better website updates! See, I haven’t been neglecting you, my 5 loyal readers. Not at all! It’s just… the keyboard, right? And… well, the weather has been better so Jillian and I have been hanging around outside for more than 15 minutes at a time. And… well… I just don’t have much to say since everything is more or less hunky. And dory. One might say that it’s all just hunky-dory.

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Fun-ish things (I like lists)

1. I have given away both copies of the book I promised to the Tomato Nation Comment Army. Thanks for the interest and good luck to all! Once the NCDS is over, we’ll get started in earnest, yes?

2. I have been trying to ignore it, but apparently I need to re-organize my cupboards a little better. This morning, a bottle of Frank’s Red Hot Sauce fell out of the cabinet and splashed me in the face. Not an awesome way to start the day.

3. I made a big batch of waffles this morning. Ever since I discovered Jillian’s intense and burning love for all things leavened, I have been making waffles about every 5 days. I figure I have saved approximately $527.32 just this year alone by making them from scratch (ridiculously easy) instead of buying Eggo. The child can put away two of them each morning, no problem. She’s a machine.

4. While Freddie and I both have our own iPods, we share the iTunes. Therefore, EVERYTHING that is on the iTunes ends up on my iPod (18GB) because there is no way in hell I’m manually managing 5,000 songs. During the day, I like to put it on shuffle and let it go but today I found I may have to re-think that. Collective Soul came on. I mean, Collective Soul? On MY iPod? Ew. I do believe this is grounds for divorce.

5. I have a fairly eclectic musical palate. I’ll listen to most things, but there are a few things that make me want to stick rusty scissors in my ears. The Eagles come to mind. Collective Soul is another one – they were EVERYWHERE in the mid-to-late 90’s and I’m sick of them (still) on top of the fact that THEY SUCK. Freddie already had that CD in his music collection when we got together because I for sure didn’t authorize that purchase. Thank God he dislikes country as much as I do or I really would have to call my lawyer. If I had a lawyer, that is.

6. I… like the smell of Murphy’s Oil Soap. I didn’t used to – when we moved out of our last apartment and into our first house, I scrubbed the shit out of the hardwood floors in the apartment using the MOS. And for some reason, the smell of it was unpleasant to me, but in hindsight that might have had more to do with the fact that the whole apartment was kind of stanky when we got there. It smelled like the dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant – like old sesame oil. Hrm. Perhaps that’s why sesame oil still makes me heave a bit when I cook with it. Interesting. Anyway, I finally got fed up with the grody milk driblets all over my TV stand and coffee table (thanks, toddler!) so I busted out the Murphy’s and went to town. Much better.

7. Technology, which is sometimes the bane of my existence, is actually doing nice things for me these days. Via Facebook and MySpace, people are falling back into my life after long absences and I couldn’t be happier. As I reconnect with these people, I feel like the pieces of me that are connected with them are joining back up with the whole of me. It’s a nice feeling, even if talking about it makes me seem a little less than sane.

8. My little brother is coming to be our houseguest for a few weeks. This means I have had to shovel out the 3rd bedroom and make it habitable for him. I also needed to buy curtains, since the previous owners left little valances across each window which is fine when nobody is living in there, but now that there’s a tenant, he might want some privacy. So I went to Target this morning and picked up some curtains. For ONE window, despite the fact that there are two perfectly useful windows in that room, both of which need curtains. Because I am… how you say… RETARDED. Therefore, once The Jillian wakes up from her nap (blessed, blessed naptime, how I love you so), we are headed out to Target AGAIN. Because I’m a dumbass.

9. I wonder what kind of proof-of-address the library needs in order to issue me a card. We moved here last October and I only just recently got around to getting on the DMV website to change my address on my license. You can do it online and they send you a sticker to put on your license and thus saves you the immense hassle and ass-pain of actually GOING to the DMV. Yay, right? WRONG! While I might sit in the DMV with a speed-freak toddler for a few hours, at least I would HAVE MY STICKER. Because I did it online? Three to four weeks. Yes, WEEKS. For fuck’s sake.

10. But I need to go to the library. Small and dismal our town library may be, at least it has books. And I have read all of my books. ALL OF THEM. Even the shitty ones that I got for free at some of my various and sundry book-related jobby jobs. Most of the books I have read twice. Or three times. Or, in a few cases (Gone With The Wind), upwards of 150 times. I need some new books. That I do not have to pay for.

11. No, that’s not a typo. I have read Gone With The Wind more than 150 times. I got a paperback copy of it for Christmas (or my birthday, I forget which) waaaaaaay back in 1983. I was eight, and [duh] reading at a much more advanced level than most people are at that age. Books written for my age group: a) bored me to death; b) had stupid, condescending plotlines; and c) took me roughly 15 minutes to read. Since I wasn’t athletic (that’s putting it extremely diplomatically), I read. A lot. So the parents, pissed off at having to drag my nerdy ass to the library every two days, bought me Gone With The Wind in hopes that it would shut me up for a good long time. It took two weeks for me to read it that first time, and once I got to the end I promptly started it again. It’s my favorite book.

12. I don’t hate the movie, exactly, but it has so little to do with the book that it bums me out to watch it, even though I think I could rock a hoop skirt.

13. In knitting news, I am about done with my Big Ugly Sweater. I ran into a bit of a problem in that the sleeves are a bit longer than the body pieces will allow so I sort of have to do a little bit of hillbilly engineering to get them to look presentable. This problem will be fixed next time because I will knit the sleeves first and then make the body pieces fit. If there is a next one. I initially knit this in the ugly color scheme as a test run before I knit one for Freddie. The ugly color scheme doesn’t bother me at all but it will blind most people (wait for the photos).

…and there you have it – today’s brain mush!

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Filed under Books, Freddie, Friends, House, Jillian, Knitting, Me Me Me, Stuff

Everyone’s favorite: A list of random crap!

1. If you’re getting here via Tomato Nation comments, I apologize for making you read this drivel. I have one more book to offer – just drop me a comment and we’ll hash it out.

2. Nice job, USA track & field relay teams. Dropping the baton is a great way to go.

3. Ms. Prufrock called me cool (or awesome or something else nice, I forget what it was exactly) the other day so now I feel obligated to post and post brilliantly more often. This one’s for you, Pru!

4. I have approximately four Very Important Projects to work on, so naturally I’ve been spending far too much time on Facebook. I can’t help myself – between the stalking opportunities and Pieces of Flair, it’s a perfect place for someone like myself who… ooh, shiny!

5. The Jillian is starting to speak English with a lot more fluency these days. I can’t keep up with her sometimes. Girlfriend can even count to ten! I don’t know if she knows what it means, exactly, but it sounds good.

6. She’s ‘reading’ Snow White right now. I’m a little bit grossed out by Snow White and her desire to be saved by a handsome prince and all of that. So when I read it to her, I can’t help but interject my own commentary which is usually along the lines of “… because Snow White is a NINNY.” Snow White needs to get herself a clue and take care of her ownself. And for fuck’s sake – who doesn’t learn the rule about taking candy (or apples) from strangers? Does she have no Stranger Danger instinct at all? I think Snow White is a bit touched in the head, to be quite honest.

7. If it’s not obvious, can I just tell you all how much I am dreading Jillian’s absorption into the Disney Machine? I don’t mind the old-skool Mickey Mouse stuff so much, but the Disney Princesses make me want to hurt myself. But I will gladly put up with any amount of Princess crap as long as it keeps those Bratz dolls out of my house. Those things are truly scary.

8. So, I’m a little bit ashamed to admit this but I just read “The Notebook” by Nicholas Sparks. It suuuuuuuuuuuuucked. The movie was about 12 times better, and I don’t think I have ever said that about any movie made from a book. Mr. Sparks cannot write for shit, yet he is a bestselling author. Just goes to show that we live in a culture that doesn’t give a fuck about what it’s consuming (see also Cheez Doodles, McDonald’s, MTV). My mom’s dog can write better dialogue than Sparks can.

9. I probably had a real reason to post today but I’ll be damned if I can remember what it was.

10. Because ten is a nice place to end this.


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If you’re in this club, you know it.


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Some random junk

Lost starts up again tonight! As much as I would love to think that I am above TV-watching, I have to admit that I am not. I even watch American Idol. But Lost is the one thing that I will kill people for interrupting, so let’s not call my house while it’s on, ‘kay?

I am angry at chocolate. I need to figure out what the hell is wrong with the chocolate sponge cake I want to make into a jelly roll and why it’s too dry and WON’T ROLL. It breaks. I can’t figure out why. Working on it, though.

My child is currently on a serious waffle kick. She will eat waffles for every meal of every day if I will let her. I’m thinking about getting a waffle iron so I can at least put fruits and vegetables into the batter. However, I know that as soon as I buy or otherwise acquire a waffle iron, she won’t eat waffles anymore. SHE IS NUTS.

My father is currently not speaking to my mother. Apparently, he got pissy about something and decided to sleep in his recliner. This was two weeks ago. He’s still there, according to the email that I got yesterday. Even for our family’s standards, this is taking it a bit far, I think. I’m going to have to call him and ask him what’s up so he can launch into a litany of petty complaints about my mom. Then I’ll have to tell him that he’s acting like a dick and should really stop.

I love the fact that I can talk to my parents this way.

What else… what else…

Freddie starts his new job at his old company on Monday. He felt like he had gone as far as he could go with his current job, and as he started looking for something new, he contacted his former boss for advice and was offered a job pretty much instantly. Sweet. I think it will be a good opportunity for him, even with his trepidation about going back to his old company. We’re going to spend the weekend going through his wardrobe and shopping for clothes to add to it. He’s been able to wear jeans for the last two years, so his suit & tie collection suffered immensely.

I have to paint my living room. It’s really starting to wear on me. Unfortunately, the previous owners did the worst painting job I have ever seen and now I have to paint the damn ceiling, too. The ceiling would need to be painted ANYWAY, but I might have been able to get away with not doing it just now if they hadn’t gotten shit-brown paint roller marks all over it. Fuckers. I hate them.

I keep going back and forth about painting the trim or not. It’s white, and needs to be painted anyway since when it was installed, they didn’t fill in the nail holes and there are hundreds of wee little black specks everywhere. Of all the crazy crap in this house, that pisses me off the most. So it does need to be painted, but I don’t know if I want to paint it white or if I want to do something a little more dramatic. Decisions, decisions.

I suppose the trim color can be decided once I decide what color to paint the walls. I can’t seem to make a decision about this and it’s driving me nuts.

In other Jillian news, she is finally starting to grow some hair. You can’t see the outline of her skull anymore, so that’s a nice change. People have stopped asking me what my son’s name is. Of course, it helps that her winter coat looks like we killed a gay Muppet to make it, but even in the summer when she’s dressed in pink and frills and stuff, people ask me what “his” name is. Teehee.

Whew. I need a nap. I’m battling the beginnings of a cold and I really really don’t want it to escalate because instead of being inches from death for a few days with a quick recovery, I tend to be utterly miserable for months. Between Alka-Seltzer Plus (cherry flavor) and yoga, I feel pretty good today. I have hope.

Speaking of hope, didja see the trade the Mets did? DIDJA?

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I had a lovely post written out on the subject of forgiveness, and how I don’t do enough of it so that’s one of my New Year’s Resolutions this year. To forgive. Others and myself.

But then, something happened that is sorely testing me.

Over the past weekend, the cemetary where Freddie’s uncle, grandparents, and great-grandparents are buried was heavily vandalized. I cannot even bring myself to link to any of the news reports because seeing the aerial footage is so disturbing.

In a nutshell, the vandals knocked over 499 gravestones.




I know this isn’t the first time the cemetary has been vandalized, nor will it be the last (God knows), but the magnitude of it is shocking.

We don’t belong to the synagogue that the cemetary belongs to, but Freddie’s family belonged there for many, many years. Freddie spent the better part of yesterday evening on the phone with the temple and his family, trying to make sure everyone was aware of it. The synagogue told us to email them the names of the family members who are there and they would try to get some information to us as soon as they can.

I hope a lot of the stones are able to be repaired. Someone I know whose father works in the granite industry said that stones can be repaired with epoxy and the cracks will not be terribly noticeable. Some of the stones were really a mess, though, and will probably have to be replaced.

The police are classifying this as “criminal mischief” and not a hate crime. How is it NOT a hate crime, I wonder? Because they didn’t spray swastikas on everything after knocking it all down? Is that what kept it from crossing that line? I… don’t get it.

I really hope they find whoever did this, but I’m sure they won’t get much more than a slap on the wrist. What a shame. I feel bad for their parents.

Which brings me back to forgiveness. Is something like this forgivable? I can pity the perpetrators and hope that they get whatever help they so obviously need, but forgive? I just don’t know if that’s possible.

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What December has been like

I haven’t been posting nearly as much as I would like to. I just don’t have the urge right now. There is nothing really exciting going on, honest.

That’s not to say that things are boring, though. We definitely have things happen, just nothing blog-worthy, I guess you could say.

The days are very short. It gets dark around 4 PM here, which sucks like nobody’s business. However, the darkness hasn’t really been affecting me as much this year. I think it’s because I am not stuck in an office all day where I can’t see outside. That is always a recipe for a messed-up body rhythm and I don’t have that going on. Jillian and I try to go outside every day, even if we just stomp around the front yard a bit. I think this helps me a lot.

The fact that I don’t have a crappy job is also big help – it’s hard enough to deal with the chemical imbalances that this time of year brings. Dealing with a jackass boss and idiot co-workers doesn’t help. So it’s nice that the urge to strangle people doesn’t come up every half-hour like it used to.

We are doing just fine. Freddie’s job situation has become very interesting, but that’s all I can really say about that right now. My job situation is still up in the air. I’m looking, but I’m not killing myself over it. Starting my own company has been a lot of fun so far. As soon as the holidays are over, I am really going to knuckle down and get some shit done.

Jillian is in great form – she’s got a lot of words and is learning to put them together. She knows who I am now and no longer calls me Elmo. But when Elmo is on TV, she goes insane! She loooooooves Elmo. I can deal with that because hey – at least it’s not Barney.

See? Boring!

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It Snew

I woke up this morning and looked out of the bathroom window. “Hmm,” I thought. “Everything looks awfully bright but also somehow sort of grey.”


“Oh. It snowed.”

I’m a genius in the morning, I tell you whut.

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SRSLY – not dead

Whew. Ten whole minutes to myself! Whatever shall I do?

The time is flying by lately. I’m up to my eyeballs in my Super Secret Project, plus I have a toddler now, so I’m trying to keep her from killing herself or destroying the house. That’s fun. She is becoming a better walker, though.

My little brother got married last weekend. The ceremony was lovely, his bride is beautiful, and a good time was had by all, especially Jillian, who got to hang out with her cousins for the first time. Everyone hit it off and the boys spent the evening chasing the baby. If only they lived closer to us (or we to them), I’d have all kinds of babysitters at my disposal.

I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again – it totally sucks not having any family in New Jersey. There is no one around who will watch the baby! We have a babysitter, but she’s expensive. Aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents charge a lot less. But they are all miles away. Sigh.

The end of my ten minutes is approaching. I apologize for the dearth of posts of late, but there is much to be done and little time in which to do it.


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