I have a Man Cold

If you have ever lived with a male human being, you know all about the Man Cold. The sneezing, the nose-blowing, the moaning, the “I’m dyyyyyinnnnggggg,” the whole thing. The Man Cold is no joke.

If differs in many ways from a normal cold. A person struck with a normal cold might still cough and sniffle, but she will also be able to fold laundry, cook dinner, run to the dry cleaners, and take the kid to the park. A normal cold won’t kill you, but a Man Cold apparently will.

Yesterday, I had a Man Cold. It actually started the night before – I’d been feeling a little sluggish during the day, but after dinner things went downhill fast. Since I’m a recovering hypochondriac, I immediately started thinking back to what I’d eaten because it might be food poisoning! That’s harsh while it lasts, but it generally ends after a few horrible hours. Unfortunately, I woke up yesterday morning around 3AM, with my head stuffed full of what felt like cotton. Couldn’t breathe, couldn’t blow my nose (nothing was happening!), and laying down was painful.

So I got up. I’m a good wife, and I know Freddie is recovering from his cold (it was normal, surprisingly enough – not a Man Cold), so I thought I would leave the bed and let him get whatever sleep he could before his alarm went off. Because I am awesome like that.

Somehow, I made it through the day. I even managed to put on some pants and hit the grocery store for necessities like soup and milk and Ben & Jerry’s. Never mind the fact that I can’t taste anything and even the thought of drinking water is making my stomach angry. Ice cream cures all! But despite this attempt at normalcy, I was not doing well and Freddie even made time in his day to come home a couple of hours early to do the baby-wrangling so I could be a couch lump.

I feel a bit better today, and I might even leave the house because there are some things I have to do, but I wish I could have slept another three hours or so. We’ll see what happens.