Musing

1. It’s past midnight. I have been awake past midnight almost every night for the past month.

2. The reason for this is because I am back in my parents’ house and have been arguing with my father. Just like old times. Which equals stress, and stress equals insomnia. This explains the first 20 years of my life. I thought I’d gotten it all figured out, what with the relaxation techniques and the rage-displacement techniques and blahdeeblah, but ohhhhhhhh no. I never could sleep in this house, and perhaps I never will.

3. Rage-displacement = painting the house. I scrubbed the walls in the living room and painted them. FOUR TIMES. 2 coats of primer, 2 coats of color. Then I did the foyer. THEN I got down on my hands and my bony knees and scrubbed the everloving fuck out of the floor in there. NOW I am painting the kitchen. This involves stripping the paint off of the door (twice, because I fucked it up the first time), stripping the windowsills and doorway trim, moving the [new!!] fridge so I could bust up the last bit of the carpet (in the kitchen, yeah) where the fridge goes. The kitchen is almost done. I even painted INSIDE THE CABINETS.

4. I really really do not want to do the stairwell, but I have a feeling that’s next. If I’m here much longer, I’m going to need another project, and that stairwell got painted in 1942 when this house was built and I think that’s the last time it was done. Lead paint for everyone!

5. If I end up painting the stairwell, I’m going to do it in a very very deep shade of blood-red. The living room is done in lovely southwestern pinky-oranges and the kitchen is YELLOW! and GREEN! (seriously, we are talking about very bright colors here). So… red. Yeah.

6. If I didn’t have music, I would probably die. I don’t know how I would survive this place without my iPod.

7. Books, too. I’ve read about 14 books in the four weeks I’ve been here.

8. The upside to all this painting is that I’ve lost some weight. The last time I checked, it was 15 pounds, which is astounding to me, because I’ve been eating like shit and drinking a lot of beer. So… yeah. Wondering about that, because painting is hard work, sure, but it’s not THAT strenuous.

9. Did I mention I haven’t been sleeping?

10. I really really want to go home.