I was just in the shitty grocery store because we were out of one of the Major Food Groups. I don’t normally shop there, because that store is gross and because Wegmans exists.

But I was out that way and the only thing I needed to get was M&Ms. I thought I’d get the Valentine’s Day ones, since that’s coming up and they are pink and pretty and we love those sorts of things here. Everything is pink. However, I went to the section where the V-day stuff normally lives and…

There was Easter stuff there.

Um, hello? It is a full week before Valentine’s Day. I don’t want to be seeing Easter shit in the store yet. You know what I’d like to see on the shelves a week before Valentine’s Day? FUCKING VALENTINE’S DAY SHIT, GODDAMMIT.

This “jumping the gun” that happens in EVERY fucking store pisses me off. I think Target is the worst, though. They have bathing suits out on the racks already. Who the fuck buys a bikini in February? No one, that’s who. You know what I buy in February? SWEATERS. Because it’s still fucking COLD and will continue to be FUCKING COLD for the foreseeable future and I’m sick of the sweaters I have so maybe February is a good time to freshen the wardrobe, yes?


But ohhhhhhhh no. If I want to buy sweaters, I have to do that in JULY. Why? Why does this happen? HOW DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? Oh, wait. It doesn’t.

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