Because it’s Friday and stuff

I know Ms. Prufrock is not a fan of the bulleted-list-of-random-crap-style of blog post. I’m pretty sure she thinks in complete sentences, wheras my brain spews out random words and phrases on a fairly constant basis. So, HERE WE GO!

1. My doctor visit went well. I can breathe again, with the help of a $50 inhaler and a $50 bottle of amazing cough syrup. The bottle has so many warning stickers on it that you KNOW it’s good stuff. Can’t drive, use heavy machinery, or sign contracts while under the influence of this stuff. Also causes blurred vision, dry mouth, extreme sleepiness OR hyperactivity! Yay! I’m supposed to take 1 teaspoonful every 12 hours, but I find if I’m not ready to go to sleep right then, I am useless (well, more than usual) for the entire day. I take it before bed and sleep so soundly that I wake up and whichever arm I happen to be sleeping on is numb. Excellent.

2. The Jillian is talking up a storm lately. She tends to repeat the last three words of whatever I say, so we’re hearing a lot of “Holy shit!” these days. We keep trying to get her to say “President Obama” but have been unsuccessful so far. I think she’s just hedging her bets, but god help us all if she turns out to be one of those close-minded, bigoted right-wingers. I’ll disown her ass.

3. My brother is our long-term houseguest. He’s got a job working for The Man in Homeland Security and needed a place to stay until he finds an apartment or a room or a cardboard box or whatever is in his price range in the NYC area. He found out yesterday that The Man is sending him to Texas or Jupiter or similar for 6 weeks or so of training in How To Be The Man, so he’ll be with us for quite a while. Well, his stuff will, at least. I must say, it’s been nice to have the kid around, plus Jillian loooooooooves him.

4. Something in my fridge died. I just cleaned the fridge out, like a month ago and there’s already some new casualty. Good thing we use those reusable plastic containers instead of the expensive Tupperware crap! I just toss the whole thing in the fridge even if it has arms and calls me by name. In the trash you go, Fridge Alien Baby!

5. Apparently we’re supposed to get smacked around by Tropical Storm Hanna this weekend. To be followed by TS Ike Turner. We need the rain, but I don’t want it all at once. Sheesh. My tomatoes will be unhappy and my basement will flood. Someone needs to schedule these things with me ahead of time.

6. I am knitting The Less-Big, Less-Ugly Sweater and it’s already giving me fits. Apparently, I cannot do math. I’m supposed to increase until I get a certain number of stitches, then decrease until I have a certain number of stitches. I decided to be really smart-like and figure out how many rows it would take to get to the right number of stitches and either they’ve changed the math or I’m extremely stupid and have not counted correctly. Either scenario is equally probable. Math is not one of my strengths, though I used to be really good at it. Anyway, I think I will get it figured out. If not, Freddie will just have to wear it however it gets made.

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